Windsurfing Nation

Part I

The party has ceased and I’m all alone. Sitting at a dining room table on the Mira River. How’s this for Gonzo Journalism? Gonzo Gonzo Gonzo! Motorboat Brent sleeps in the other room.Vroom Vroom Vroom ! Beer bottles clink with a friendly satisfaction “Keep up the good work!” They say. I’ll probably fall asleep on this table. Little bits of marijuana herb grass are clinging to this book. “Take us to your leader! Set us ablaze!” They shout. My writing is sloppy. Hunter S. Thompson says he once had a mountain lion jump into his car, so he killed it with a hammer. Do you believe him? I do. I could use another cigarette. Puff Puff Puff! Where are all the boats this time of the pre-morning ooze? They all got pulled over by the highway patrol. “Stop, in the name of the law!” Soon, all the birds will check in, “Po-tweet? Po-tweet?” The Asiaman sleeps tonight. Ooo-oohh . Welcome to the end of the phone book, my number is 1800-SET-ME-FREE. Call for a good time. The other pen is dead. Peace. Maybe I’ll go watch the sun rise over the Mira and yell “Rise and shine! Welcome to the world, you fiery bastard!”

Part III

I want to see the sun rise. Bang, somebody just died. Boom. Someone was just born. Goodbye, welcome. Politics. Nothing else needs to be said about that.
It’s a good time of night to be asleep. One sheep, two sheep…

Part IV

Welcome to the Jaques Cartier motel. Welcome to fear and greed and Kim’s escort service. Get used to the smell of crying men. “My wife just left me”, “My dog ran away” etc. It’s all about being alone. I’m alone. I have lots of numbers, though. The numbers for everybody in town! “Hi, I’m writing about you!” Should I call? My light is dying. Then will I be truly alone? Emergency services, I just got hit by lightening! Come help! What’s your sign? And so on, and so on.

Part V

Egad you vile thing, don’t die now! The dark is a bad place to be, especially when there’s no light! Who can help me? I’ll call 911. “Help! It’s so dark I can’t see myself! It’s awful!” Achoo! My friend told me that this dusty old place is 107 years old today. Happy birthday.

Part VI

“Hi this is Kim’s escort service.”
“I need a high class honey.”
“Sure thing, sweetheart.”
“I need somebody to love.”
“Don’t we all?”
“Ha Ha.”